Anyway, so because all the messages are sent to my phone, it's up to me to send a reply back. Usually, this is what I send:

My son Michael x of roll class a.b was absent on 25/5/11 as I gave him permission to stay at home today due to the Athletics Carnival. Yours Sincerely, (my mum's name).

Here's some messages I wish I could have sent:

My brother Michael x of roll class a.b. was absent on 25/5/11 as he couldn't be bothered to go to the Athletics Carnival, EVEN THOUGH IT'S HIS LAST ONE - EVER. Oh, and he isn't going to his formal either. WTF? Yours Sincerely, Wendy x.

Or:

My brother Michael x of roll class a.b was absent on (date) as he has gastroenteritis. Yours Sincerely, Wendy x.

Oh, wait. I DID send that one once, complete with the proper spelling of gastro! Only under my mum's name and he really DID have gastro. Hope the office ladies who were reading the messages enjoyed that excuse!

Remember last year at the MCA Zine Fair how you kept leaking to the point where I had to go to Priceline to buy more tissues? I probably infected a dozen people there, too. You better not do that this year, especially since I have work right after.

I'M WARNING YOU, NOSE. NO SNOT, OK?

Yours Sincerely,

Wendy.

But if your voice can't do all that, then what's the point of having one at all?

All the DVDs I've yet to watch. Movie marathon, anyone?

Being the nerdy person that I am, I have an Excel spreadsheet of the books, CDs and DVDs I've purchased. It comes in handy when I want to see what I've bought throughout the year at a glance and can be shocking when you've discovered that you managed to spend $230 last financial year on 22 books - and that's just the books that were purchased in Australia, GST inclusive - despite the fact that you don't have a job.

I was typing my latest purchase into my spreadsheet (a pre-order of Röyksopp's Senior), when I discovered that so far this year, I've bought more DVDs than I've bought CDs. As someone who loves their music more than they do their movies, I found that strange. Very strange, considering that last year, I bought a grand total of three DVDs. This year so far, I've bought seven DVDs, compared to six CDs - and I know why. See, with the kind of music I like to listen to, it's rare that I end up paying less than $20 for a CD purchased in Australia - and that's when my preferred online entertainment supplier has a 10% off sale or sends online vouchers or if I'm lucky, both. DVDs, on the other hand, are guaranteed to go on sale within four months of it being released e.g. An Education (which I'd buy if I had more money at the moment), or in the case of older titles, will go on sale one day, if you can wait (which surprisingly, I can). Out of the seven DVDs I've bought this year, all but two were on sale; I was lucky to get Marie Antoinette and The Jammed for $6.95 each. They're not blockbuster or insanely old movies, either. Perhaps the reason why DVDs are on sale more than CDs is that they've already made their money in the cinemas.

(It's going to take me FOREVER to get through that stack of DVDs - it took me THREE years before I got around to watching the version Macbeth with Sam Worthington in it! There's a few titles there that were purchased back in 2008 . . .)

It's the opposite of great. Is this the reason why no designer has yet to be credited with the design? The photo of the two of you as elderly people is cool, but what on earth is with the top and the bottom? Is the top supposed to be a chandelier? Crystals? It's the bottom that kills it the most, however. To put it bluntly - THAT FONT IS HORRIBLE. Now, I'm not a graphic designer (I leave that to my friends), but I do appreciate good album artwork - and good album artwork this is not. Leave the artist and album name off it (as is the case with at least half a dozen albums I own on CD), and it'll be fine. If you need to have the details on it, that's what stickers are for. To borrow from Robyn's Don't Fucking Tell Me What To Do (whose singing I loved on The Girl and The Robot from Junior and really, should be made into a SingStar song), that font is killing me. If you want to know how to do dark, minimalistic album covers, take a look at Pet Shop Boys' Fundamental, as a Facebook fan of yours suggested.

That being said, I cannot WAIT for Senior. An instrumental album by my favourite duo? HELL YES!

Love, Wendy.

Personally, I don't think any album artwork of Röyksopp's could beat the amazement that I felt when I examined the CD of their second album (and my favourite album when I'm awake) The Understanding:

(For those who might not be able to spot it, the ö in Röyksopp is the centre of the CD. I love it when the designer takes the object into account and works their way around it!)

• A copy of The Cat Returns on DVD from JB Hi-Fi. Last time I bought a Studio Ghibli DVD for $20 was My Neighbor Totoro in December 2007. I've been stalking JB Hi-Fi ever since, waiting for another Studio Ghibli $20 sale. Even so, I was THIS close to missing out on this sale, which ended on the 19th, since I hadn't stalked JB Hi-Fi in a while. I actually jumped up and down when I saw that the DVDs were on sale, which I'm sure looked very dignified. *laughs* I had put myself on a DVD ban since I was buying all these movies, but not watching them until much later. But for a Studio Ghibli sale? Like hell I was going to miss out on that!
• Three Popular Penguins books. Original intention was to buy Alice's Adventures In Wonderland (from the new set of 75 Popular Penguins for uni) with the 30% off coupon for Borders. The store computer said they had two copies, but neither I nor the sales assistant could find a copy. Same with a Nietzsche book (difference being that I looked for it myself without any help, and there was only one copy). The sales assistant said that they only got six titles from the new collection in, which I thought was pretty hopeless. Later wandered into Dymocks to see their Popular Penguins range - way more impressive than that of Borders! They seemed to have every single one of the 174 titles in stock, including Alice, Playing Beatie Bow and Dangerous Liaisons - all from the new collection of 75 titles and the latter two being on my books wishlist. With Dymocks offering a Popular Penguins tote bag with the purchase of three titles, I gave in, bought them - I REALLY wanted that tote bag when I saw it on the front cover of the latest Booklover magazine - and subsequently broke my book ban (which was imposed for the same reason as the DVD ban). But it was totally worth it for the bag. *dances*
  

• A packet of tissues. I was walking back to my car when I saw a giant liquid dispenser:
  

  COOL! Not so cool when it turned out to be advertising Lifebuoy, which I swear has suddenly exploded onto the market; I'd never heard of the brand until a few months ago. I wasn't going to say no to a free packet of tissues, though. (I was expecting a hand wash or a hand sanitiser when the lady said 'free samples'.)

  

One thing's guaranteed - I sure won't be buying any more books or DVDs for at least a month . . .

• The lady who stole my parking spot at Westfield Liverpool at the post-Christmas sale in 2006, then told my brother (whom I sent out to negotiate as I couldn't abandon my car in the middle of the carpark) to respect his elders. How can you respect someone who just drives in without checking to see whether anyone's waiting for that spot? Age is not a consideration.
• The idiotic postman from last year who bent my picture book in an attempt to wedge it into my mailbox, despite the fact that it was packaged in cardboard. THERE WAS A REASON IT WAS IN CARDBOARD - TO PROTECT IT FROM DAMAGE! DUH!
• The fact that Marion and Jonathan got eliminated from MasterChef. Marion was bad enough, but to see Jonathan - who, after Marion left, was the best cook left in the competition - go in the next elimination, made me depressed, considering he was my favourite. Who knows who can win now . . . but you can guarantee I'll be in a fit of rage if it turns out to be Jimmy.